Seeing familiar topics from a different perspective can provide insight. Recently I had one of these lightbulb moments. I would like to share my somewhat confronting learnings, because I’m guessing that it may resonate with and hopefully help others. Here it goes.
If you have read some of my previous contributions, you will know that the ‘overachiever’ fascinates me. I am one. Overachieving, like perfectionism and avoiding, is a coping mechanism, a survival strategy. These subconscious mechanisms (there are many) are developed at a very early age and they help us, or so we tell ourselves, to keep a handle on what’s happening around us, to keep us ‘safe’. Since these have been around our entire conscious lives, they are part of the lens through which we make sense of the world. They form part of our default tool kit: this is how we approach things we need to deal with, without thinking about it, especially under pressure. As we all know, overachieving has upsides: you get things done and you will always go the extra mile. The downsides are also familiar: the underlying sentiment, seeking validation, is a negative one and it is stressful as the job is never done and the overachiever is attached to delivering, all the time. But, there is more (*), which takes me to my lightbulb moment.
I have always considered my performance, influenced by my tendency to overachieve, as primarily affecting me: I am experiencing the positive and negative consequences. From this perspective, as long as I am choosing to show up in this way and as long as I stay afloat, everything is ok. What I’ve come to realize is that this is only part of the story. To be honest, I am not proud of the very important aspect that I have been overlooking all this time. What I’ve missed entirely is the effect this has and has had on the people around me. The sole focus of the overachiever, me, is working towards delivering what is (assumed to be) expected. Where such achievements require the input of others, or where the achievement is a team effort, the overachiever may see that as a hurdle: the others will have to fall in line to get the job done, while ensuring the highest level of quality. The tendency of the overachiever will be to manage the team members to mitigate the risk of delay or failure. The overachiever will therefore be less inclined to inspire the team to come up with a ‘how’ and ‘what’ that may very well be better than what the overachiever or the individual team members would have been able to come up with. This doesn’t mean that the overachiever doesn’t care about the people involved, I certainly always have, but the ‘overachiever’ is more likely to be task and transaction oriented than to use the full spectrum of options and solutions associated with a team building on the strength of the differences between the team members. Rather than motivating and coaching the team to come up with the best result, the overachieving leader will want to keep a tight rein on the process and manage the people involved, also on content, in order to bring about the achievement as soon as possible and in the way they had envisaged it.
Taking into account that overachieving is contagious, this effect will be even more prominent in groups where overachievers are well represented. This is another example of why diversity goes well beyond looking at gender, cultural background, sexual orientation, social class, etc. Homogenous group dynamics can easily result in collective blind spots. Team members with a different approach will be able to identify these. Also in this sense, the strength of a diverse and psychological safe group includes that ineffective tendencies and dynamics can be called out and addressed. Things will only get better!
* For the limiting effects of our survival strategies, see also the Leadership Circle Profile